Clouds and Rainbows

I was on a plane when he died.

I remember sitting in a window seat, looking at the clouds through the window and thinking that something was different. In the distance I saw a long row of clouds. It reminded me of an aisle runner at a wedding. I almost expected to see someone walking on it. And, as the plane was landing, at every point of light, I saw rainbows.

My mother’s father was my champion. He taught me. He connected me. He understood me. He loved me, and I knew it.

When I looked up and saw that my cousin was my transport from the airport, I knew my champion was gone, and the feeling that flooded my soul most was guilt. I still feel like I let him down, because I didn’t get to see him, or sing to him, or kiss his forehead before he left.

I was on a plane when my grandfather died. So, he visits me in the rainbows.


Joan comments: So often when someone we love dies we feel guilty - we think we have not done enough to show them our love.  But if he visits you in the rainbows, Angela, clearly he knows how much you loved him.  That truly is enough.  Thank you for sharing.